Saturday, April 9, 2016

Last Lecture

                So this is supposed to be the capstone of my class “Introduction into entrepreneurialism”, my last lecture or, my “final wisdom” as my favorite author (Hunter S. Thompson) would put it and I am not so sure what to tackle first so bear with me.

            First off let me give you a little advice concerning your professor Shanelle Mele. Let me tell you first and foremost that I was not a big fan of my other professors this semester, except for her. She is legit and is a great person who has helped to start breaking up a stereotype I have for people in this field of learning. If you allow her she will help to inspire and help uplift you on your journey through this class. She will also give you good practical advice in a variety of subjects should you open up to her which is something I would advise doing.

            Secondly I really want you to pay attention to the reading and videos for each week. I can be a very negative and cynical person both as from character flaw standpoint as well as someone who has been jaded by life and experience when it comes to life in general and especially in the corporate/business world. These assignments however will help even the most hard hearted and stubborn person to see that this part of the world has good people who are really trying to make a difference and do the right thing and I for one was given hope by that. I especially enjoyed this week’s video on one of the founders of Domino’s Pizza, Tom Monaghan. Here is a link to said video:

            My third point is about the entrepreneurial journal you are going to keep up on weekly. This for me has been one of my favorites because it has allowed me to vent frustrations and in turn receive guidance and reprieve from some of my feelings. Sister Mele as well also helped me to feel validated while also addressing another perspective on what it was that I would write on which is something I really appreciated as opposed to what most people would do which tends to apply additional pressure on the idea that they are right while I am in the wrong. This has become a takeaway for me in reminding me that I have that same trait but have forgotten it from being the on the defensive since I joined the church (that is a whole different story).


            Lastly I would tell you most importantly to keep an open mind and go at this class giving it a 110%. I sadly did not and I regret it in hindsight knowing that I could have come out of this class so much better off and wiser for it. So please, enjoy and work hard!










Sunday, April 3, 2016

Working Sundays...

                I am on the Insurance sales team currently for the company I work for and I really love who I work for. I have been paid better than I have ever in a job, I have great benefits, the company I work for is morally upstanding, and I have some great people to work with. If I have one complaint however it would be that we have a shift bid process once a calendar quarter that causes me to work a different shift every three months meaning that I may end up on a shift that would cause me to work Sundays, well that has happened.

            I have never liked working on Sundays. Even before I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I never liked working on Sundays. Even though I did not grow up in a religious house it was still instilled in me that Sunday was a day to relax, prepare, and reflect. Because of this I always seemingly was able to avoid working Sunday and enjoyed the day more than any other during the week. I need this day more than anyone realizes and now that I am a Mormon, I need it that much more.
            As member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we regard Sunday as the Sabbath instituted by God as a day of rest and worship. I day that we sacrifice solely for Him and it in turn, we are spiritually filled and blessed. Since joining the church however there have been several attempts from employers to get me to work those day and each time I bucked to the point of moving on to another venture. This time however I do not feel like I have a choice in the matter and that is extremely frustrating to me for variety of reasons with some being obvious to others I will not mention here because of the personal nature of the matter.

            There is a possible silver lining because I applied for a position within the company that would move me to the work force management side. This job though at the bottom of the “totem pole” of the area is still a slightly higher pay for me and most of all I would be learning a whole new skill set and doing something different which I so desperately need in my life. However this position requires shift flexibility which means I could vary from working days to graves and everything in between. I would also end up working some weekends including some Sundays and holidays. With all of that being layout to me however I am not so sure what I should do and what this all means for me and my future.


            As stated before, Sundays mean so much to me that the possibility of being stuck working them sincerely breaks my heart and causes me an enormous amount of stress. Those reading this may feel that is a bit melodramatic but let me take away something of such huge significance to you in order for equally important reasons to you in order for you to be able to take care of your family. Life however is not fair and these things do happen to us all in one form or another. This will not deter me from following my God and living the Gospel and in fact, living it as whole heartedly as possible will be ever so much more important in order to be the patriarch and example of my family. If I cannot partake in sacrament with my family on Sundays, then I need to step up my game every other day to make sure I am doing what is best for them.


The Sabbath day is given throughout the generations of man for a perpetual covenant [see Exodus 31:16]. It is a sign between the Lord and his children forever [see Exodus 31:17]. It is a day in which to worship and to express our gratitude and appreciation to the Lord. It is a day on which to surrender every worldly interest and to praise the Lord humbly, for humility is the beginning of exaltation. It is a day not for affliction and burden but for rest and righteous enjoyment. It is a day not for lavish banqueting, but a day of simple meals and spiritual feasting. … It is a day graciously given us by our Heavenly Father. -President Spencer W. Kimball

Saturday, March 19, 2016

THEY STOLE MY IDENTITY!!! & My Attitude on Money


THEY STOLE MY IDENTITY!!!

This week reminded me of a very powerful and important lesson, you are never safe from having your virtual identity stolen in the technology age. On Friday I received a call from Visa asking if I had authorized some purchases in Chicago for H&M and some ATM withdrawals. Sadly I have never been to Chicago but I would not be spending money at H&M if I was. They stole about a grand from me and I didn’t even have that I my account. I am grateful for my father for helping me through this on a financial end even though he is pretty steamed about it (though I did not ask, he volunteered).

            So I am going to assume my Visa debit card was compromised the last time I filled up at my local Chevron station as this also happened to me when I was on my honeymoon about five years ago. They informed me that thieving swine are easily able to hack into the computer system that runs the pumps and clone card information from transactions. From there they make a fake card with my information on it and go ahead and have some fun on my families expense (Those bleeping cuss words!).

From here on out I have decided that I will only pay for my fuel in cash even if it takes a little more effort. I will also be having my checks deposited into my savings account instead of my credit and only transfer what is needed over for bills once they are due. HOPEFULLY this will put an end or at least make it more difficult for these swine to rob me blind!

My Attitude on Money
The following questions and answers are part of my week’s homework for one of my classes.

1     What is your attitude toward money?
I hate money so very much. I is a huge stressor in my life no matter the amount I have, don’t have, want, or need. Personally I hope that I will be able to change this attitude as I get older and wiser with how I use it and abuse it.

2   How can your view of money affect the way you live?
Well again this causes stress in my life based off of my personal filters, making my life a bit less joyful.

3    What rules are recommended for prospering?

Rule 1. Seek the Lord and have hope in him
Rule 2. Keep the commandments, that includes the temporal ones, tithing and fast offerings.
Rule 3. Think about money and plan how you can become self-reliant.
Rule 4. Take advantage of chances for learning so you will not be ignorant of these matters.
Education, as President Hinckley has taught us, is the Key to Opportunity.
Rule 5. Learn the laws upon which the blessings of wealth are predicated.
Rule 6. Do not send away the naked, the hungry, the thirsty or the sick or those who are held captive.

By the way, I love Rule 6!




Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Substantial Accomplishments

             I want to explain to you today three of the most important accomplishments I have thus far been able to accomplish in my life. I know there have been more than just three and this has been extremely tough to narrow down so I hope there is appreciation for what I have chosen and why.

Buying a home
            One of my most proud moments in life has been being able to purchase my first home. It was a lengthy process of paying down debts, saving money, working a second job that took time away from family, and a huge learning process. Because of this I have been able to learn so much about being responsible and owning up to your past mistakes. Most importantly I have been able to keep our home through a loss of job and through two jobs after the loss that was hard to live off of. We have never been late on a payment and have owned it for almost five years at this point which makes me proud. When I first bought the home a friend of mine said that, “If you can make every payment for a year then you can for five years. If you can make every payment for five years then you can pay off the mortgage.” This is wisdom I cherish.

Having Children
            Because I started the path towards adulthood late because I squandered my young adulthood for a variety of reasons and because of that I was under the mindset that I would never marry and have a family. Fast forward to today I have a two beautiful little girls that I completely adore and love more than I ever thought possible. I remember thinking that I could not possibly take care of a child let alone myself when my wife was pregnant the first time. So much has happened since that initial thought and I am glad to see how much they have helped me to grow.

Sobriety

            I am pretty sure that none of this would be possible if I had not chosen to become sober I would never have left my little mental bubble that kept me from being able to start making real progress in my life. Getting sober was far from easy as well and I have my days when I wonder what I would be had I not, but I am glad I am and will be for the rest of my life.


Friday, March 4, 2016

My NEED for the Atonement

           The last two weeks entries have been me being extremely honest, open, and showing you how hard I am to myself. The reason why is because I have had the impression that in order to ever truly become successful in my own business or career, I would need to open up about these feelings and conquer them. However I have always had a hard time attempting to do that on my own, thankfully there is the Atonement of the Savior which not only cleanses me from sin, but helps me heal mentally and spiritually and I cannot express how thankful I am for that.     

          This past week I was reminded of how cherished of a blessing this needs to be in my life as well as a simple and yet profound truth:

No matter my effort, it will be Christ who has made it possible for my efforts to accomplish anything I need it to do.

This is the talk that helped remind me of this:



For the remainder of this entry I want to share something else I wrote on another one of my blogs centered around my spiritual views:

There is no greater moment in my life then when the Atonement of Jesus Christ “clicked” for me. For those of you who may not have ever heard or understand the term Atonement, it is a commonly used by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to refer to the suffering and death of the Savior. For us we believe that the crucifixion was just a portion of what Jesus went through during those last few days for us. I think our bible dictionary would better to explain it then I can. Here is a portion of it:

“The word describes the setting “at one” of those who have been estranged and denotes the reconciliation of man to God. Sin is the cause of the estrangement, and therefore the purpose of atonement is to correct or overcome the consequences of sin…
His [Jesus Christ] divine Sonship, His sinless life, the shedding of His blood in the garden of Gethsemane, His death on the cross and subsequent bodily resurrection from the grave, He made a perfect atonement for all mankind.”

                If any of us have any knowledge of Jesus Christ then we know that He died so that we may be forgiven of our sins. However it goes on to be so much deeper than just forgiveness of our sins. The Atonement as a whole included Christ suffering in the garden of Gethsemane. “Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit…”
You might be asking to yourself “what suffering was this”? Well look at your life, it is all that you have suffered, we have suffered. It was the combined weight of all mankind’s suffering, pain, and heartbreak. This very intimate detail of the suffering in the garden shows us that when we suffer, we may never be alone, we can call upon our Savior who has felt firsthand just what we are feeling.

Here are some quotes I wanted to share:


The Atonement of Jesus Christ provides the cleanser necessary to be made pure and clean, the soothing salve to heal spiritual wounds and remove guilt, and the protection that enables us to be faithful in times both good and bad. 
Come and See, By Elder David A. Bednar, General Conference, 10/2014
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While you are in the temple, listen to the words of the ordinances, ponder them, pray about them, and seek to understand their meaning. The temple is one of the best places to come to understand the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Seek Him there. Remember... 
Make the Exercise of Faith Your First Priority, By Elder Richard G. Scott, General Conference, 10/2014
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The gospel of Jesus Christ opens the path to what we may become. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and His grace, our failures to live the celestial law perfectly and consistently in mortality can be erased and we are enabled to develop a Christlike character. Justice demands, however, that none of this happen without our willing agreement and participation. It has ever been so. Our very presence on earth as physical beings is the consequence of a choice each of us made to participate in our Father’s plan.9 Thus, salvation is certainly not the result of divine whim, but neither does it happen by divine will alone.10 
Free Forever, to Act for Themselves, By Elder D. Todd Christofferson, General Conference, 10/2014
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If we are not aware of what the Savior’s sacrifice can do for us, we may go through life carrying regrets that we have done something that was not right or offended someone. The guilt that accompanies mistakes can be washed away. If we seek to understand His Atonement, we will come to a deep reverence for the Lord Jesus Christ, His earthly ministry, and His divine mission as our Savior. 
The Reason for Our Hope, By President Boyd K. Packer, General Conference, 10/2014
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A powerful expression of that love is what the scriptures often call the grace of God—the divine assistance and endowment of strength by which we grow from the flawed and limited beings we are now into exalted beings of “truth and light, until [we are] glorified in truth and [know] all things.”8... 
The Gift of Grace, By President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, General Conference, 4/2015
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We often speak of the Savior’s Atonement—and rightly so! In Jacob’s words, “Why not speak of the atonement of Christ, and attain to a perfect knowledge of him?”4 But as “we talk of Christ, … rejoice in Christ, … preach of Christ, [and] prophesy of Christ”5 at every opportunity, we must never lose our sense of awe and profound gratitude for the eternal sacrifice of the Son of God. The Savior’s Atonement cannot become commonplace in our teaching, in our conversation, or in our hearts. It is sacred and holy, for it was through this “great and last sacrifice” that Jesus the Christ brought “salvation to all those who shall believe on his name.”6 
The Gift of Grace, By President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, General Conference, 4/2015
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That first Easter sequence of Atonement and Resurrection constitutes the most consequential moment, the most generous gift, the most excruciating pain, and the most majestic manifestation of pure love ever to be demonstrated in the history of this world. Jesus Christ, the Only Begotten Son of God, suffered, died, and rose from death in order that He could, like lightning in a summer storm, grasp us as we fall, hold us with His might, and through our obedience to His commandments, lift us to eternal life. 
Where Justice, Love, and Mercy Meet, By Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, General Conference, 4/2015
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...For those who feel they are alone, you can stand resolutely in righteousness knowing that the Atonement will protect and bless you beyond your ability to fully understand. 
The Lord Is My Light, By Elder Quentin L. Cook, General Conference, 4/2015
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If the grim realities you are facing at this time seem dark and heavy and almost unbearable, remember that in the soul-wrenching darkness of Gethsemane and the incomprehensible torture and pain of Calvary, the Savior accomplished the Atonement, which resolves the most terrible burdens that can occur in this life. He did it for you, and He did it for me. He did it because He loves us and because He obeys and loves His Father. We will be rescued from death—even from the depths of the sea. 
The Lord Is My Light, By Elder Quentin L. Cook, General Conference, 4/2015
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...we testify that the Atonement of Jesus Christ has anticipated and, in the end, will compensate all deprivation and loss for those who turn to Him. No one is predestined to receive less than all that the Father has for His children. 
Why Marriage, Why Family, By Elder D. Todd Christofferson, General Conference, 4/2015
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...Son of God, Jesus Christ, suffered and died to atone for Adam and Eve’s transgression, thereby providing resurrection and immortality for all. And since none of us will have been perfectly and consistently obedient to the gospel law, His Atonement also redeems us from our own sins on condition of repentance. With the Savior’s atoning grace providing forgiveness of sins and sanctification of the soul, we can spiritually be born again and reconciled to God. Our spiritual death—our separation from God—will end.15 
Why Marriage, Why Family, By Elder D. Todd Christofferson, General Conference, 4/2015
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Highlight - Blue - Jun 04, 2015:
...of the Atonement makes repentance possible and quells the despair caused by sin; it also strengthens us to see, do, and become good in ways that we could never recognize or accomplish with our limited mortal capacity. Truly, one of the great blessings of devoted discipleship is “the peace of God, which passeth all understanding” (Philippians 4:7). 
Therefore They Hushed Their Fears, By Elder David A. Bednar, General Conference, 4/2015
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...which can reclaim each one of us, bears no scars. That means that no matter what we have done or where we have been or how something happened, if we truly repent, He has promised that He would atone. And when He atoned, that settled that. There are so many of us who are thrashing around, as it were, with feelings of guilt, not knowing quite how to escape. You escape by accepting the Atonement of Christ, and all that was heartache can turn to beauty and love and eternity. I am so grateful for the blessings of the Lord Jesus Christ, for the power of procreation, for the power of redemption, for the Atonement—the Atonement which can wash clean every stain no matter how difficult or how long or how many times repeated. The Atonement can put you free again to move forward, cleanly and worthily, to pursue that path that you have chosen in life. I bear witness that God lives, that Jesus is the Christ, that the Atonement is not a general thing that is for the whole Church. The Atonement is individual, and if you have something that is bothering you—sometimes so long ago you can hardly remember it—put the Atonement to work. It will clean it up, and you, as does He, will remember your sins no more. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 
The Plan of Happiness, By President Boyd K. Packer, General Conference, 4/2015
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...Our spirits are damaged when we make mistakes and commit sins. But unlike the case of our mortal bodies, when the repentance process is complete, no scars remain because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. The promise is: “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more” (D&C 58:42). 
The Plan of Happiness, By President Boyd K. Packer, General Conference, 4/2015
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On Easter Sunday we celebrate the most long-awaited and glorious event in the history of the world. It is the day that changed everything. On that day, my life changed. Your life changed. The destiny of all God’s children changed. On that blessed day, the Savior of mankind, who had taken upon Himself the chains of sin and death that held us captive, burst those chains and set us free. Because of the sacrifice of our beloved Redeemer, death has no sting, the grave has no victory,1 Satan has no lasting power, and we are “begotten … again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ.”2 
The Gift of Grace, By President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, General Conference, 4/2015
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The burdens His faithful servants must carry in life are made lighter by His Atonement. The burden of sin can be taken away, but the trials of mortal life for good people can still be heavy burdens. 
The Comforter, By President Henry B. Eyring, General Conference, 4/2015




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Friday, February 26, 2016

I Don't Believe In Myself


            For what it is worth, there was once upon a time that I believed that I could be anything I wanted. I remember as a little boy I would write little stories and comic books, staple them together, and then hand deliver them to my mom to read and validate my efforts. She always praised me for my talent and efforts. She truly believed in me and thought that I had a chance at becoming an author and I wanted so badly to prove her right.

            One thing that will always stand out to me was that my mom always read and because of that I read all the time too. I would go to the library with her and come home with stacks of books and then write in an attempt to mimic what I liked best of those books. I always wanted to be a published author, but I can’t even get consistent traffic on any of the three blogs I have started. I feel like a failure.

            I have been trying all week to remember the exact point in my life when I became broken and stopped believing in myself. I am pretty sure I was in my senior year of high school when I finally stopped fighting it and just gave into the deep abyss of despair that is giving up on one’s self. Now at the age of thirty-four going on thirty-five I have become stuck in this muck and cannot seem to get the footing needed to get out. The only reason why I try to move is for the sake of my girls and my eternal companion.

            It has been so long since I thought I could accomplish something of great worth that I have a hard time seeing any redeeming quality within myself, others claiming I am a child of God seems non sequitur. Yet I sit here in my home, wife having fell asleep on the couch and two beautiful girls upstairs in their warm beds. I don’t see what my girls see in me but whatever it is, it seems to be the same spark my mom saw in me as a child. I can see it in their eyes and it seems so foreign to me because I used to believe that anything good in me died long ago.

Yet here they are, both girls being the sweetest, most beautiful souls I have ever come to know and they are here in part, because of me, they are in extension of me. My wife stays by my side because she sees in me the potential I could only dream to see in the mirror the next time I look in it. My father who has never given up on me no matter how many times he was burnt for his efforts. My mom for believing in me, even though she didn’t live to see her son become the author she knew he would one day become.


Here I am in agony and pain because I have not yet given up, or given myself a chance.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Get Organized!!!

            I need a revolution in my life by any and all means necessary. The system is broken, corrupted, and no longer is successful in doing what it was originally intended to do. The old way of doing things are no longer working, it is the future man and times are a changing! I feel completely and totally oppressed and abused with no real way of winning with the way things are ran right now and I cannot, nor will not take it anymore! I need a change, the system needs a change, and it is time to rebel!
            In the past five years my life had change a tremendous amount and I have not been doing very well at keeping up with everything. I have gotten married, and two years later I had my first child. After some time my mother died and I lost a really good job two weeks after. Five months later I had my second baby on my first day back to school and from there the responsibility and the normal every day “to do” list has blown out of proportion.
            These days I am having an extremely difficult time keeping up with all my responsibilities. I have virtually no downtime and I have zero time to myself. I feel constantly tired and I am fast approaching a burn out. I know it is not because of everything I have on my plate, but it is due to the fact that everything I do has spiraled into chaos. I cannot take it anymore and I need a change. I need to find a way to get back on track, get “it” together and get organized. The question is how?


            To be continued…