This week’s entry I would like to focus on “what I want to be when I grow up”. To start off I just want to state just how envious I am of those I’ve known in my life who have always known what they have wanted to be when they grow up. Even if they’ve never achieved it, they have at least known and most have made an actual attempt while I never have. Honestly I hate being asked this question for two reasons:
1. I have never believed in myself enough to think that I could achieve my dreams.
2. I have been so down on myself for so long of my adult life that I don’t even really know what I want to be that doesn’t sound like a pipe-dream at this point.
This was so much easier in childhood because I hadn’t been stomped on by life yet and thought I could achieve anything, even fictional things. I remember the first career I ever wanted was to be a “Ghost Buster” and I can guess that I don’t need to tell you why that didn’t happen. Later I wanted to be a Top Gun pilot and fly F-16’s which was fueled by a love of both the movie “Top Gun” and that my dad served in the Air Force on the flight line. As I got older I ended up needing glasses and that killed that dream.
A little later I decided I wanted to get into law enforcement with the ultimate goal of either becoming a detective or leaving and starting my own private detective business. I also within that same realm thought seriously about joining the Air Force like my father to become an MP to get the experience needed. This never happened because as I started moving towards that goal I started suffering from horrible panic attacks to the point that it disabled me at the start of high school. I would soon after be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder with depression to boot. In addition to this my heart was broken by my supposed high school sweetheart and all of this helped me to start down a path of substance abuse and depression so deep that it enveloped almost the whole of my 20’s.
In my 20’s I could only seem to find work doing telemarketing, customer service, and technical support. I abhor this line of work and never saw myself in it. Today I work in insurance sales for a great company. While I am good at this and have gotten good at working on phones, it is not what I want to be when I grow up and at 34, I feel like my options are extremely limited.
What I really want to do now is teach Seminary or Institute.
To be continued…
For Class:
1. Why do you think Randy Pausch was able to achieve so many of his childhood dreams?
His parents allowed him creative freedom and that cultivated confidence and imagination.
2. Do you feel that dreaming is important? Why or why not?
It is critical for someone to not only enjoy life, but to set goals and have the drive to achieve them.
3. Discuss at least one of your childhood dreams. Explain why you believe you can or cannot achieve this dream.
So I think I explained most of my childhood dreams in detail already the one I didn’t, was to become a Ghost Buster. I know that the obvious answer here is that I can’t achieve this dream because it is fiction. But I could attempt to any number of other fields ranging from being a paranormal investigator to a “fortune teller”. While one maybe a fun hobby, the other one would just be me flimflamming people out of their money.
A video clip from Randy Pausch's Last Lecture
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